Knowing the difference between selfishness and self-centeredness might be important to one’s personal growth, romantic life and social skills. Though understanding these categories might be easily overlooked, particularly since selfish and self-centered are usually used as synonyms, they are not the same and alerting to their discrepancies in personality might inform their effects on behaviour and interpersonal dynamics.
What Does It Mean to Be Self-Centered?
1. Focus on Personal Interests
Selfishness denotes someone who’s largely concerned with his or her own needs and interests, and who acts on these with a view to maximising benefits to himself.
2. Characteristics of Self-Centered People
Ego-driven: They have a strong sense of self-importance and prioritize their well-being.
Lacks Empathy: although they may be able to recognise the emotions of another, they choose to privilege their own.
Manipulative Tendencies: They may manipulate situations to ensure outcomes that favor them.
3. How They Interact with Others
Self charismatic, but be more about themselves than anyone else. They might talk your ear off, or order what they want to eat without asking you.
4. Impact on Relationships
Their tendency to be selfish can damage many relationships. The individual’s friends and loved ones can feel undervalued, exploited, worn down and ultimately walked over, on the way to confrontation – or, more commonly, more subtle estrangement.
What Does It Mean to Be Self-Absorbed?
1. Deep Focus on Self
Self-absorbed individuals are so immersed in their own thoughts, feelings and concerns that they often fail to notice, acknowledge or respond to the needs and feelings of others.
2. Characteristics of Self-Absorbed People
Narrow-mindedness: They tend to see things only in terms of their own perspective, rarely reaching to consider what others might think and lack.
Emolation: They can be emotionally distant because they are preoccupied with their own issues.
Unaware of Others: They are chronically unaware of others’ needs and feelings and are unable to respond to them.
3. How They Interact with Others
In social settings,bed individual can come across as uncaring or detached. They might not listen well or participate in conversations or show little interest in the details of others’ lives.
4. Impact on Relationships
These women tend to be less emotionally involved and engaged. People feel neglected and unvalued, and the relationship fails through poor communication and connection.
Self-Centered vs. Self-Absorbed: Key Differences
1. Awareness and Intent
Self-Centered: Aware of others but chooses to prioritize self.
Self-Absorbed: Often unaware of others due to being deeply engrossed in their own world.
2. Interaction Style
Self-Centered: Engages with others but with a focus on personal gain.
Self-Absorbed: Limited engagement with others, often seeming indifferent.
3. Empathy
Self-Centred: Exhibits little empathy, but will still take an interest in others if it suits them in some way.
Self-Absorbed: Lacks empathy because they are too focused on themselves to notice others.
4. Behavioral Impact
Self-Centered: Can function socially but may be perceived as selfish or inconsiderate.
Self-Absorbed: May seem distant or uninterested in others, leading to social isolation.
How to Handle Self-Centered and Self-Absorbed Individuals
1. Establish Boundaries
It can help to be clear about your boundaries, something you need to both communicate and expect others to respect.
2. Encourage Self-Reflection
Just like gaslighting, redirecting a self-centred person to the feelings of others can help change their behaviour. Self-absorbed people might also benefit from gentle prodding to stay ‘present’ and focused on others.
3. Maintain Realistic Expectations
Know that these personality traits are ingrained, so change could be slow or halted altogether, so adjust your expectations to avoid frustration.
4. Seek Support When Needed
If you are having a relationship with a narcissistic individual,
Conclusion
Although, self-absorption and selfishness are motivated and expressed in different ways. Given the distinction between these phenomena, and the resulting consequences for our relationships and our own development, it’s important to consider the defininging so will help you to manage your dealings with her more effectively, and to maintain healthier relationships overall.
FAQs About Self-Centered vs. Self-Absorbed
Q1: Can a person be both self-centered and self-absorbed?
A: Completely possible, even more so if they’re very egocentric about their feelings.
Q2: How can I tell if someone is self-centered?
A: Narcissists focus on themselves to the exclusion of others, pander to their own needs and desires, dominate conversations and are frequently inclined to behave in ways that benefit them.
Q3: How does self-absorption affect relationships?
A: Self-absorption has a tendency, as you rightly observed, to leave other people feeling undervalued and not cared for. These attitudes and reactions in others could hurt you and strain your relationships.
Q4: Can these traits be changed?
A: To some extent, yes: many people are not naturally so self-centred and uncaring so, with a degree of self-awareness and effort, they can become more so. But the more rooted traits are not easy to modify.
Q5: How can I cope with being with a person who is selfish or egocentric?
A: Set limits, learn to reflect, and get help when needed. Adjust your expectations, too.